How I Met the Weasley Twins
by danae-rawr
Summary: I'm normal. I swear. And to this day, God almighty knows how I ended up in Hogwarts, much less where I was several years later.


**Disclaimer: **I don't actually own anything, much as I'd like to pretend I did.

"Who are you?" I turned away from the stone wall that definitely hadn't been there a moment before to the person who had just spoken to me. There were two of them, red-headed twins, and I didn't recognise either of them.

"More to the point, who are _you_? And where am I?" Not the most helpful answer I've ever given, but I was more than slightly confused at that point.

"You're at Hogwarts. And you weren't there a moment ago." I almost laughed at them - of course I wasn't there a moment ago. But, Hogwarts. Hogwarts is part of those books. The Harry Potter ones. The fictional ones.

"So I suppose that would make you the Weasley twins, huh? I hate to point it out, but Hogwarts is fictional. As in it doesn't exist. So this must be a dream. Sorry, but could one of you pinch me please?" They looked at me like I had grown another head. "It's very realistic for a dream though. Okay, never mind - I'll just pinch myself, no probl... Ow. That hurt. So, real? Either that or I'm in a coma. Either way I'm stuck here. Well isn't that just great?"

"Umm... We're gonna take you to Dumbledore now. You're a little... Different. And there are anti-apparition wards anyway, so there's no way in hell you should be here." The twin who hadn't spoken yet (I think) told me that as they started to lead me through the corridors.

"So if I'm gonna be stuck here, I might as well start making the most of it, right? Okay, there are 2 of you and you're still at school. That means I'm still in charted territory. What year are you in?" I was fairly sure I was freaking them out. I tended to be quite good at that.

"Sixth year. But how do you know who we are? And why does that matter?" Sixth year... That means Harry Potter's in fourth... Which means that it's the Triwizard Tournament... Which means Diggory, but that hasn't happened, so that means... Moody! Crap! I started to walk faster and both twins looked at me weirdly (3 heads).

"Okay, we really need to find Dumbledore now. It just went from 'something that should happen' to 'majorly important'. Okay, he better let me change the future. If he doesn't, I'm gonna be so angry. If he doesn't, can I hit one of you? You know, just coz I'd be rather angry and all. Preferably George coz I'd feel mean hitting Fred. Crap, I shouldn't have told you that. Forget that, I'll hit either of you. Crap! Dumbledore!" They were both just looking at me weirdly (4 heads). Slowly though, they both nodded to let me know I could hit them.

My mental list went like this:

Get rid of Moody so that Diggory didn't die.

Warn Harry about that vision during OWLs.

Tell Dumbledore about R.A.B. and the locket.

Get that locket off Kreacher.

Make sure there was a decent teacher for next year.

Remember as many Horcruxes as I could.

Kill as many Death Eaters as possible so that people didn't die.

Wow, quite a long list for some one only just 16. I wonder if the twins would help me...

"Wanna help me kill Death Eaters? You know, if Dumbledore lets me. I think that a lot of people would appreciate it. Even though that's bottom of the list, the others are kinda less of a project. Ooh, should I just blurt it out so as he doesn't have a chance to stop me? Nah, that could cause problems." They were back to looking at me as if I had 5 heads.

"Well, mystery girl, we're here now. Can you tell us your name so that we can at least introduce you?" I laughed at myself for forgetting something so simple.

"Danae. You say it like Dan-ay. No-one can ever say it right, and it's just so annoying!" By now I was up to 6. Ah well, it's not as if being weird was unusual.

"Ah, okay. We'll remember that. Lemon Drops." The latter was to a gargoyle in front of me. It looked like how I'd imagined it would; unlike in the film. The film was rubbish for that. So that would mean that evidence for it being a coma = 1. Evidence for it being real = 0. But if it was a coma, would I even be aware of that? Never mind, that's a sure way for my head to hurt so I'll just let it alone.

We went up to Dumbledore's office and without turning round he said

"Mr Weasley, and Mr Weasley. How nice to see you again. Who's this that you've brought to meet me?" The boys looked at each other helplessly and then turned to me.

"Well I've just sort of appeared here. I mean, I'm most definitely not from this place, and this is all supposed to be fictional, so I'm guessing I'm in a coma. Oh, and I know the future for this year and then three after that. But you'll let me change it, right?" Dumbledore even appeared slightly fazed by this, which he never was in the books. Then again, nothing this weird had ever happened. Before he could say anything though, I decided to tell him about Moody. "Oh, and the guy you think is Alastor Moody isn't. He's Bartemaius Crouch Jr. The guy who helped torture the Longbottoms. He's using polyjuice potion and keeping the real Moody in that trunk. And he's gonna charm the Triwizard Cup into a portkey and then Diggory and Harry will get there the same time and both take it. And then Cedric will get killed and Voldemort will get his body back, and then their wands will do that weird lock thingy and then all the dead people will come out. And everyone will think you're both crazy."

Now Dumbledore definitely thought I was crazy. Never mind; most people do at some point or other. Oops, forgot to tell him no wizards or witches where I come from. Except... Shouldn't it be impossible for me to see this place? I would bring that up, but do I think they might all need some time to digest what I just managed to blurt out in record time. I mean, I manage to talk pretty fast most of the time, but that might be an all new high. I don't have a wand or know how to actually do any spells. That might be a problem. I know the words for quite a few, but only the wand movement for wingardium leviosa. Well. That sucks.

**A/N:** I don't know where to go with this, so suggestions would be lovely...


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